I’m a bloke, attempting to transition to chap. Used to be a young nipper. Who slept through lessons at school, never turned in any homework but still dreamed of eventual greatness all the same. That young nipper dreamed of being a writer and telling stories, so he created his own school newspaper, with each of the four pages blu-tacked to the classroom wall. It ran with updated pages every day. He used to poll fellow school boys to create a Top 10 music chart, the result of which help to date this long dead paper – Falco’s Rock Me Amadeus topped the chart for about six weeks. Three weeks because they got more votes than the others. And three further weeks because I really liked the song and fiddled the numbers. I was a #fakenews pioneer. I am a writer, living the dream Although. I don’t think this was the schoolboy dream, which involved Pulitzers and whatnot. The schoolboy paper lasted about two months. After a lengthy gap, the paper was resurrected as a blog which has lasted a more respectable two decades. I really want a weekly column with The Times. But I’ve settled for this. Such is life.